Chanel Brenner About

Writer, Grief Writing Guide, Mother

Hi, I’m Chanel Brenner–a poet, writer, and grief support guide. As a mother whose son died at a young age, I understand the unique pain of this profound kind of loss. During my darkest hours, I felt a deep pull to write. What began as a lifeline to process my emotions and stay connected to my son, has since become a calling to help others navigate their grief in more integrated ways.

Now, I support grieving parents and individuals through my writing and my Writing Through Child Loss grief support groups. While everyone’s grief journey is unique, I believe that the power of writing and community can bring healing and hope to all of us.

Chanel Brenner About

MY STORY

I started writing poetry the night my six-year-old son, Riley, died. I remember standing in my kitchen feeling like pulling my hair out and screaming when I heard a voice in my head say, write. I sat down at my computer and wrote a poem. It wasn’t good, but writing it was. The process of thinking about words and the placement of them. The act of creating instead of destroying.

Chanel Brenner and her family
Chanel Brenner and her son, Riley.
Chanel Brenner and her son, Riley.
Chanel Brenner, recovery from grieving the loss of a child
Chanel Brenner, recovery from grieving the loss of a child

I had experienced losses before in my twenties. My brother died in a car accident when he was sixteen. And my father died from ALS while I was engaged to be married and didn’t live to attend my wedding. I didn’t know how to deal with the grief and mostly pushed through it, not realizing the increased anxiety and physical pain that escalated as a result. I wasn’t aware of how my nervous system had been affected. The continual buzzing became normal.

When Riley died, it escalated to a point of unbearable. I tried to do what I had done before. I continued my daily routines. I brushed my teeth, put on makeup, and got my regular pedicures. I took care of my younger son, who was two at the time his brother died. I gave him his morning juice without Riley by his side, read books to him, and took him to his toddler group. I realized quickly that writing was the only thing that gave me some relief. I was compelled to write about Riley and his death, about his father’s and brother’s grief. And about my experience mothering after the loss. The process of birthing poems created hope and gave me a way to connect with others that felt meaningful.

People have asked me through the years if my writing is cathartic or therapeutic. It surprised me early on because I hadn’t thought of it that way. It was just what I was doing to survive. I would freeze, then stumble over my words, and say, “It saved me.” The question still throws me a little, and I answer it the same way. However, I have come to realize how it saved me, and I want to share its powerful healing benefits with others. When we write, we create and connect with our loved ones, the living and the dead. We surprise ourselves, and magic happens. We create beauty. Once, Riley said to me while looking out the hospital window at the sky and people on the sidewalk below, “See the beauty.”

Bios

Chanel Brenner is a poet, award-winning author, grief writing guide, and mother whose work helps others move through grief in compassionate, integrative, and supported ways. After her young son died in 2011, the act of writing became a way to process her pain, honor her son, and stay connected to him. What began as raw expressions of loss eventually grew into two poetry collections, Vanilla Milk: A Memoir Told in Poems and Smile, or Else, as well as other published works in The Rumpus, Mutha Magazine, and Modern Loss. In addition to her writing, she also offers Writing Through Child Loss and Writing Through Grief workshops, which provide safe spaces for grieving parents and others to heal through the power of writing and community.

Chanel Brenner is a poet, author, grief writing guide, and mother whose work helps others move through their grief in more compassionate, integrative, and supported ways. After her young son died in 2011, she began to write. The act of writing became a way to process her pain, honor her son, and stay connected to him. What began as raw expressions of early grief became more polished, published works and workshops to support others in their own grief journeys.

Her writing traverses the full spectrum of grief with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion, from the viscerality of early loss to the gradual unfolding of healing. She is the author of two poetry collections: Smile, or Else and Vanilla Milk: A Memoir Told in Poems  Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including The Rumpus, Mutha Magazine, and Modern Loss. She also leads Writing through Grief workshops, offering a space for bereaved parents to process their grief through writing and community.

Chanel Brenner is a poet, author, grief writing guide, and mother, whose writing and workshops help others navigate grief in supported, meaningful, and integrated ways. As a bereaved mother of a young son, she offers uniquely compassionate insight and commiseration to grieving parents. She deeply understands the specific and complex pain of this profound kind of loss, as well as the path toward healing.

When her six-year-old son, Riley, died in 2011, Chanel felt an inner calling to start writing. While her early writing wasn’t polished, the act of writing itself became a lifeline. In her darkest moments, writing helped her process and heal, while also providing a way to honor and stay connected to her son. What began as raw expressions of early grief became more polished, published works and workshops to support others in their own grief journeys.

Her writing traverses the spectrum of grief from the rawness of early loss to the gradual unfolding of healing. Her work is honest, vulnerable, and compassionate, meeting grieving individuals wherever they are in their healing journey.

Chanel is the author of two poetry collections: Smile, or Else, winner of the 2021 Press 53 Award for Poetry and Vanilla Milk: A Memoir Told in Poems (2014), finalist for the 2016 Independent Book Awards.

Her writing has appeared in numerous literary magazines and publications, some of which include The Rumpus, Mutha Magazine, Modern Loss, and The Good Men Project.

Chanel Brenner, author and poet with her first two books

Resources for Grieving Parents & Others

Poetry & Prose

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Grief Support & Writing Workshops

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Chanel’s Books

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