I Have 2x the Love for 1 Child

Published in Cultural Weekly.

Since the death
of my older son,
I worry that the weight
of my love is too heavy.
I see my son hunched over,
carrying my grief
like a load of stones.
I worry he’ll learn
to bask in that love
till he sunburns,
come to crave
the sting and heat of it.
I worry that he is forming
like a rock in a river bed,
my grief-ridden love
rushing over him
like whitewater.
I worry that one day,
a woman will ask him
why her love is not enough,
and he won’t know
the answer.